ElectionSnark goes missing for 3 days. Clinton and Obama campaigns both demand that the other apologize. McCain campaign manager jumps up and down in tie-dye clown suit screaming, “We Are Still Here, Dammit!”

Even stories headlined to be about McCain are mostly about Obama.

Obama and Clinton both win 4 half-delegates in primary voting on Guam. Entire nation half-cares. Almost. Plus or minus0.1%.

Clinton campaign promises voting rights for Guam on day before Guam primary. Clinton campaign swears it is not pandering and, by the way, the sky is not blue.

Clinton considers “nuclear option”. Choice of whether to target Iran or the Obama campaign remains undetermined.

Some bloggers are bored of talking about the perpetual Clinton campaign, so they write more posts about it.

1968, 1972, 1976, and now 1988 all campaign for status as the “official analogy for the endless 2008 election”. 1988’s new rise may be associated with its removal of Mark Penn as “strategic consultant”.

Bill Ayers hates the U.S. flag. The novelty of an anti-American recycled hippie with university tenure. Wow. That’s like the novelty of a black crow.

Anti-Obamites continue to find outrageous verbal gaffes. Next up: Obama states “the sun rises in the east” and insults the west, north, AND south!

PastorGate continues to plague Obama, causing him to still lead the race.

New York Times editorial demands detailed medical information on McCain to use as additional basis for its strong but of course completely objective and non-partisan opposition to him.